More Contradictions

I recently found an interesting article online: A letter from Deepak Chopra inviting readers to take a vow of non-violence. I took a few moments to ponder the implications here: Could I — a lifelong martial artist and former Marine — really and honestly take (and keep) such a vow without immediately bursting into flame?

Even though I've spent a lifetime studying fighting arts, combat strategy, anatomy, and weaponry, at heart, I'm a very peaceful guy. At least I like to think so. Despite all of my martial experience, I still encourage — and require — my students to study nonviolence, and to increase their skills at anger management and peaceful conflict resolution. I even try to meditate every day.

The truth is, I wouldn't hurt a fly. Okay, maybe the mice in the house are an exception here. Mosquitoes, too. And I'm not a vegetarian, either. And while I'll do everything I can to avoid a physical confrontation, I'm more than ready to enter into one if I really need to.

Ugh. This is hard! I AM committed to bringing about a world of peace, harmony, laughter, and love. And yet at the same time, I am who I am.

It's kind of messy, really.

For example, I'm currently reading two books: One explores the nature of violent physical encounters, and the other teaches meditation practices for inner peace. If I don't burst into flame, I'm pretty sure my head will, at some point, actually explode.

I wonder, how might I continue to engage in violent actions (practice martial arts), but without violent intent? Can I be peaceful, but not wimpy? How can I reconcile my desire for peace with my passion for my chosen art?

The Secret to Life?

I love this diagram, swiped shamelessly from Seth Godin's blog:


Pretty much says it all, doesn't it? Be generous, stay calm, manage your anger. If we could master this lesson, we wouldn't need the martial arts at all!

A Day for Personal and Professional Development

Next week, I'm going to attend a conference on "Managing Conflict." As a corporate professional, working at what I affectionately call "my crappy day job," I deal with conflict in the workplace all the time: there are conflicts with employees, other departments, vendors, and projects that need to be dealt with every day. But as a martial artist, developing "effective methods for managing interpersonal conflict" is the very medium and essence of my art. (We regularly practice and refine effective methods for knocking people on their butts…)

But here's where worlds collide. The course I am taking is called "An Aiki Approach to Conflict," and it will be led by Judy Ringer, sixth dan in aikido. Judy's workshop is designed to help individuals, teams, and organizations find new ways to manage conflict, hold difficult conversations well, and operate with power and presence.

The goal of the particular workshop I am scheduled to attend is to provide perspective, tools, and training in self-management and conflict transformation. Perfect! As a manager in a corporate office, this training should serve me well. As a martial artist embarking on a journey of peace education, going to this workshop is a great milestone: Engaging in personal peace education is a cornerstone of both the UBBT (Ultimate Black Belt Test) and the Black Belt requirements and curriculum at my dojo.

Worlds are colliding, and I'm starting to have a little trouble distinguishing between training at the dojo and training for my job and my life.

My life is becoming my dojo! Less butt kicking, more authentic power. Love it.

If You Build It, They Will Come (and you'll have to let go of control)

I'm getting used to our new dojo space. We've started the new year off with a bang: 11 new students in our adult white belt course — a record! We also launched our Little Dragons program over the weekend, with more than 20 kids — and their parents — coming to the dojo for a trial class.

I'm excited to see such rapid growth. Even our yoga classes are finally gaining some traction! At the same time, though, as the Chief Instructor at the dojo, I suddenly find myself agonizing over a thousand minute details that I'd never really considered before: traffic flow inside the dojo, fingerprints on the windows, the number of pens and clipboards at the front desk, the cleanliness of the bathrooms, the current thermostat setting...

I can't possibly handle all the details myself. While I know that organization is the key, I'm also learning all about letting go, and I'm relying more and more on my capable staff to take charge, and to get things done. It's a great lesson for me — really!

Letting go, trusting others, not obsessing too much, being open and flexible, missing self-imposed deadlines, letting some things break, being okay with imperfection, going with the flow, enjoying the process and not just the product — THIS is my Ultimate Black Belt Test. And it feels as though I'm a White Belt all over again.

This is a test full of lessons you would think that as a veteran Black Belt, I would have learned a long time ago! I think I'll share these points with my new crop of White Belts...

Pain is Weakness Leaving the Body

Oddly, I'm really enjoying the mild discomfort that's associated with getting back into shape: the aches, pains, and muscle tightness —and the desperate gasping for air during the cardio workouts — They all serve to remind me that I'm still alive!

(Consider for a moment, the alternative of "not feeling anything" No pain, no pleasure, no joy, no sorrow.... Boring, right? Good, now let's get back on the deck for more pushups and feel something!)

In my Marine Corps Days we used to joke, "pain is weakness leaving the body" But now, all of this pain also makes me ask the question, "Why the heck did I let myself get out of shape in the first place? Yup, wisdom comes with a price, I guess.

One of my New Year's resolutions is to spend more time in the present moment. I'm very aware that I engage in a lot of planning, strategizing, and generally over-thinking, over-trying, and over-doing — even to the point of sleeping less to get more done. I'm moving so fast these days that I hardly know where I'm going, much less realizing and appreciating where I am.

So, since I was up thinking anyway, one of the strategies I outlined to accomplish my goal of more quiet appreciation of the NOW is to begin a more formal study of various meditation practices. Sure, I sit for a few minutes almost every day, but it's time to get focused!

I've picked up a couple of books and CDs to help me along. Of note, I found a step-by-step guidebook on Insight Meditation. Okay, it's still in the plastic wrap, but having it on the shelf is a good start, right?

Am I really too busy to find 15 minutes in my day to stop and do nothing? How sad!

It's time for a change.

2009!

It's been a while since my last post -- between the holidays and building out the new dojo space, I've been a little busy. But the holidays are over, and we have completed the move to our new dojo, so I'm out of excuses for not writing. I kicked off the year with a goal of attempting 1,000 push-ups on January 1. I'm not ashamed to admit that I fell short and didn't accomplish the goal: after all, 740 push-ups in one day is probably more than most people did!

At our dojo, we're kicking off a 6-week "fitness cycle" aimed at getting everyone back in shape. Each week, we do a selection of calisthenics (push ups, sit ups, leg presses), adding repetitions or new exercises — and sometimes both — during each successive week. The fitness cycle will end on Valentines Day, when we'll get the whole dojo together for a "fitness graduation" workout.

Let the games begin!

Welcome Home

I sent the following email out to my students today:

This is just a quick note to announce that the building inspector has signed off on all the inspections, and we now have a certificate of occupancy to operate at 95 Everett Street!

So, effective immediately, all of our classes will be run in the new dojo space. Thank you for being so patient with crowded doorways, a small training floor, low ceilings, fluctuating temperatures, bathrooms way down the hall, trains passing just outside the window, and any number of other annoyances that you've quietly put up with.

But let's not forget that our old dojo was very good to us: I'm extremely grateful for the time we spent there, and I know that we'll still be telling the "dungeon dojo" stories many years from now.

There are still a few items in our old space that need to be moved across the street, but most of the heavy lifting is done. It will take us some time to get fully settled into the new place: We have furniture to assemble, mats to install, and lots of stuff to hang on the walls. (Yes, the skylights are coming. More on that later.) And of course, we have a ton of new memories to build!

Planning and coordinating this move has occupied most of my attention for the last couple of months. As you may have noticed, I've been distracted and a little out of focus lately, and the quality of our training has suffered as a result. I'm really looking forward to getting back on track with some good old-fashioned intensity!

For now, though, let's all relax for a bit and enjoy the view (unless, of course, you're testing on the 20th). We're in the process of slowing things down for the year, but the annual January workout training is just around the bend! Next month, we're really going to sweat and grind it out on the mat.

Our new, larger space will give us much greater flexibility in how we schedule and run our classes. You'll soon see some changes happening in the way we operate the dojo, but nothing too earth-shattering. I value your input and suggestions, so shortly, I'll be sending out an electronic survey to give you the opportunity to provide me with some feedback. Please keep an eye out for it!

Welcome home.