Playing All-Out

Last night was the first night in almost 2 weeks that I was able to sleep more than 3 consecutive hours. Ava's blood sugar levels have been all over the board, and my wife and I have been running ourselves ragged trying day and night to get things back under control. Blood sugar checks, insulin corrections, and emergency feedings at midnight, 2:00 am and 4:00 am have been the norm for us for days and days on end.

And oh yeah, our roof is leaking from the recent heavy rains. The house is a disaster because we've had to empty out a large closet, which needs to be redone to get at all the moisture and mold up in the ceiling. All of this, combined with a hectic schedule at work and an extra heavy load of classes at the dojo and in the community, has transformed me into a bit of a zombie. I'm exhausted. I've lost a few pounds. My brain is fuzzy. But lots of good things are happening:

This week, I was able to finalize my contribution to the "Wisdom of the Martial Arts" book project. One of my students completed folding 1,000 origami cranes, and he'll be delivering them in person next week to 'Sadako Peace Day' in Santa Barbara, CA. I had the pleasure of teaching self defense to delightful group of 25 teens at the Carroll Center for the Blind. The City of Boston's Zoning Board of Appeals approved the change in use of the building we'll be moving in to this fall, which means heavy construction can now begin. I have 10 students testing for new rank at the end of the week, and new students are enrolling for my next beginner's course.

I'm playing all-out. But in place of my UBBT pushups and sit-ups this week, I've concentrated on keeping my sense of humor and an attitude of gratitude. I'll just have to catch up later.

Shambhala Sunrise

The other day I got up extra early for some sorely needed quiet time. As the sun came up, I spent a few peaceful minutes scanning Shambhala Sun magazine, reading one article by Thich Nhat Hanh on mindful living and the environment, and another by Pema Chodron on the importance of continually returning our minds and our focus to the present moment.

I followed my reading with a few minutes of meditation, stretching, and some deep breathing exercises. A gently rumbling thunderstorm broke the morning's silence as the house grew brighter, and I enjoyed the chorus of heavy raindrops spattering on the broad maple leaves just outside the window. What a gift!

Every morning should start like this.

Lost My #^$% Internet Connection

Not too much to report this week. My home Internet service is on the fritz, so I can't do all the things I'm used to doing from home: emailing, journaling, paying bills, finding random stuff on Google. The down side is I feel like I can't get anything done. The up side is that time away from the computer means more time with family. Cool!

Tai chi class is going well. I'm enjoying it so much that I almost forget that I'm the one who's running the class. D'oh!

I did take a few minutes this week to create and launch a new blog on the build-out of the new dojo space. It's still very much a work in progress, so I'll hold of on showing it to everyone for now…

Well, that's one way to build the anticipation, no?

Stressed? Me Too!

I'm stressed out this week.

No need to go into details, we've all been where I am at one point or another, right? Too much to do, too little time, not enough money. Too much noise and congestion. Feeling stifled and countered at every turn with no place to rest. And damn! It's hot, too!

Struggle, struggle, struggle, blah, blah, blah.

I'm done with whining, though, because I don't like myself when I'm down and crotchety.

So I've decided to just STOP, and seek solace within. I've "checked out" this week, spending much more time in quiet contemplation, reading and breathing deeply. I find that when I'm stressed, flipping through the Tao Te Ching always — always — seems to help.

Seek knowledge daily and increase,
Seek the Tao, and diminish
Lose, lose again
Until you are emptied.

There, that's better, isn't it?

My busy work this week: drinking green tea, listening to lots of Vivaldi, folding paper cranes. Maybe even a little tai chi. This month's issue of Ode Magazine is "The Silence Issue." Recommended reading for anyone feeling the press of modern life, as I am this week.

I still did my pushups and crunches this morning, though. It would have felt weird if I'd skipped them.

Don't Eat the Plate

Strange experience this week: One of my best friends and long-time training partners told me that he has decided to stop teaching and practicing karate altogether. Even though he is one of the most naturally gifted martial artists I know – and a wonderful instructor, too – he is closing down his dojo, and he is directing his students to seek out and train with other instructors. Wow.

The weird thing is, I saw this coming, and I'm not surprised at all. I've been training with my friend for 20 years, and I know him well. I know he didn't burn out. He didn't get injured. And he didn't do anything stupid that would put him in the newspaper in a bad light. No, nothing like that at all. His rationale for leaving karate behind was far more simple. And much more complex at the same time.

My friend realized that his walk on the martial path no longer served a purpose in his life. He felt strongly that karate had taught him all the lessons that he needed. All of the physical training, the tactics, the strategy – they no longer called to him. The time had come for him to move on to another path. So he just decided to stop walking the one he was on. (And I know it wasn't an easy decision.)

I guess it's sort of like when you're pleasantly full at the end of a good meal, you don't get yourself another helping, and you don't eat the plate. You simply put down your fork, neatly fold your napkin, thank the cook, and excuse yourself from the table.

I am sad that my friend no longer walks the martial path with me, but I understand. I am extremely grateful for having had such wonderful company during my journey. So I support my friend, and I wish him well.