Facing My Personal Nemesis

I hate yoga.

There! I said it. The truth is out!

Now, let me explain what I mean by "the truth:"

Yoga is my bugbear, my demon.. call it what you want — it's really hard for me! Even though I've trained in the martial arts for years and years, I'm physically very tight. My muscular flexibility and joint range of motion are two areas that I've constantly struggled with. And so I've avoided working on it — for years and years!

Downward dog? My mortal enemy!

Now, the truth is that I know how GOOD yoga is for me, mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually... I admire the art, it's practitioners, and all that yoga has to teach me. I subscribe to Yoga Journal. I even host yoga classes at my dojo. But the fact is I find it very challenging to face (and work with, and accept) my own physical limitations when I'm on the mat reaching for my toes and/or twisting my spine.

I've made significant improvements in recent years, but I've got a long way to go to get to where I'd like to be. And somewhere deep, down inside, I know that my physical inflexibility is probably a manifestation of a mental state. This is something I need to work on, a barrier I need to break through!

What better opportunity for growth could I ask for? I've added weekly yoga training to my UBBT.

Relationships Come First!

As I continue to plug away at my UBBT tasks, it has become suddenly and painfully apparent to me that keeping everything in BALANCE is an important part of this test. We cannot afford to be martial artists in a vacuum! Even though I'd love to live a life in which I trained and studied martial arts 16 hours a day (I know many of my UBBT teammates understand this level of passion), I've come to the realization that we need to be come Artists of Life — in the REAL WORLD.

Now, I know that this point seems obvious to anyone reading this post, but it's true — and I don't understand why or how it wasn't glaringly obvious to ME:

Building, maintaining, nurturing, and strengthening our RELATIONSHIPS is far more important than building our muscles, our skills, our knowledge, or our schools.

For what happens if I "pass" this Ultimate Black Belt Test and satisfy all the requirements, but have no one to celebrate with? What happens if I fail this test (perish the thought — I WILL NOT FAIL!), and have no one to cry with? Victory or defeat, what a hollow feeling that would be!

From this point forward, relationships come first. If I can focus on this point and honor it every day of my test, every other requirement will be a piece of cake.

(Special thanks to my wife, Joy, for pointing these things out to me. You are a great teacher. Thank you and I love you!)

What A Week This Has Been!

I took an hour out of the office to attend a meditation seminar by Shivabalananda, a meditation master from India. I went in very skeptical, mostly due to my unfamiliarity with the Indian culture, I suppose. The session had a strong spiritual theme, too, which I was a little uncomfortable with, but open minded about. You see, my personal meditation practice has always been very informal and VERY private, so sitting still and silent with my eyes closed in a room full of strangers (most of whom were dressed in traditional Indian garb) was more than just a few paces outside of my comfort zone. (Did I mention the vibhuti (sacred ash) that Shivabalananda's assistant placed on everyone's forehead?) When I meditate, I usually sit for no more than 10 or 15 minutes at a time, so a full 45-minute silent meditation was definitely a stretch for me, both physically and mentally. With the longer session, I went through a fairly intense period of "rejection" that must have lasted for about 25 minutes. But after that, my body FINALLY found a comfortable position, and my mind stopped wandering and resisting the silence quite so much. Once I settled down, I felt very peaceful — and free to explore my mind with curiosity. (I'd call it a "mental safari.") I definitely learned "something," but I'm having a hard time articulating exactly WHAT. There's more to explore here, for sure.

I taught a self-defense class for a group of blind young adults at the Carroll Center for the Blind on Wednesday evening. Amazing! This was absolutely one of the most personally rewarding things I've ever done — a personal victory! The students (ages 14-20) were the most energetic, positive, enthusiastic, appreciative, and polite group of young folks I've ever been around. And with a little training, MAN can they hit! It was a challenge to adapt my teaching methods for the audience, but everything fell into place in short order. I know the students left the training with a little more confidence. I left the training on CLOUD NINE. I'm extremely grateful for the opportunity, and I hope to do more training at the center in the future. WOW!

My physical training has been going well, although I think I somehow sprained my wrist. I've had to cut out doing push-ups this week to give my injury time to heal. I'm sure there will be other bumps and bruises that I'll have to deal with — this is a pretty minor annoyance that's hardly worth mentioning, except that I've started to see and feel results from my efforts, and I don't want to backslide! I've signed up for noontime yoga classes at work, too. They start next month.

Cleaning Up My Diet

This past week, I sat down with Jill Braverman, an acquaintance of mine who is also a holistic health counselor. As part of my initiative to clean up my diet during my UBBT, I talked with Jill about diet and nutrition and my eating habits. Jill introduced me to the concept of "primary and secondary foods." According to Jill, primary foods include love, hugs, meditation, self-expression, tears, nature, downtime, close friends, and play. These things all feed our souls and our hunger for living.

Primary foods are things that feed us, but they don't come on a plate. Secondary foods, on the other hand, are the things we actually put into our mouths to chew and swallow.

According to this theory, the more primary food we receive, the less we'll depend on secondary food. The opposite is also true: the more we fill ourselves with secondary food, the less we are able to receive the primary foods of life. This certainly puts a new spin on the way I "eat!"

Falling Into a Rhythm

My Stats To Date:
Push ups: 3,000
Crunches: 3,000
Miles: 27.5
Kata Reps: 65

Falling into a rhythm now — I'm really enjoying my morning routine in the park: Every morning at about 7:00am, there's a group of 60-70 year old Chinese women doing chi-kung exercises by the ballfield. There's usually 7 or 8 of them moving and talking togehter, and when I come along, they stop to fawn over my daughter while I do my crunches on the bleachers. I don't speak a word of Chiense, and they don't speak any English, but still communication is easy. (One morning last week, they even presented me with a package of teething buiscits for Ava — how sweet!)

There are other now-familiar faces in the early-morning, too:

I often spy a man and woman doing Yang-style tai chi (long form) together on the tennis courts. Their tai chi is beautiful and graceful (although their tennis is unforgivingly awful!) ; An older gentleman does kung fu by the tot-lot; still another man stands on the park green in silent, standing meditation. It's an interesing gathering of martial artists! Who knew?

There are others whom I see every morning, too: People on their way to work; a handful of dog walkers; A Russian man walking and doing calisthenics; kids enrolled in summer school pass by and wave or pet my dog while I do my push-ups.

I'm reading "Touching Peace" by Thich Nhat Hanh and enjoying it. Also reading "The Book of Tea" by Kakuzo Okakura. Reminds me of the ceremonies I attended with Master Kaji Aso at the House of Flower Wind before he passed away.

So Far, So Good!

My Stats To Date:

• Push ups: 1,500
• Crunches: 1,500
• Miles: 12.5
• Kata Reps: 30

I'm a little more than a week into my UBBT. The push ups and crunches were tough at first — day 4 was really hard — but my body is slowly adjusting to the new demands, and I'm less sore with every passing day. I've created a nice morning routine while I'm out walking the dog with my daughter, Ava: By the end of our morning walk, and long before I leave for work, I've completed my crunches, push ups, and kata repetitions for the day. (I've selected Gojushiho as my UBBT kata.) I've pushed through one rainy day so far — and now I'm a little apprehensive about what will become of this routine in the dead of the coming New England winter!

Next week, I start running again. Logging 1,000 miles seems impossible... Coach Tom, when do I sleep?!?! I'm counting dojo training as sparring time, getting "real" rounds in whenever I can. As for the boxing and BJJ? I have no idea how I'm going to fit that stuff in. Like a few of my teammates, I am NOT a full-time instructor, so I guess I'll just have to get creative! I know I'm "doing" daily acts of kindness, but I've got to get cracking on keeping better track of them. Periods of meditation have been brief, but relaxing. This is a lot of stuff to cram into a day!

I'm keeping a closer eye on my diet now, which means I'm frequenting the salad bar more often during my lunch breaks. I've stopped drinking coffee, too, replacing it with green tea. (My students had a good laugh when I told them that a soy milk green tea latte was my new guilty pleasure!)

Support from my fellow UBBT team members has been great so far: Hal Gustin was in town this week and he dropped by my tiny dojo to train with my students and me. Thanks, Hal!

So far, so good!

Jump and the Net Will Appear

I must be crazy, but I've just signed up to participate in The Ultimate Black Belt Test — a grueling yearlong examination that consists of challenges that are designed to create physical, mental, emotional and spiritual breakthroughs. It's going to be quite an adventure!

A successful test involves completing — among many other things — the following in the course of one year:

• 52,000 push ups and crunches


• 1,000 miles of running/walking


• 15 minutes of daily meditation for a year


• 1,000 acts of kindness


• 1,000 repetitions of a single kata

You can check out the full list of UBBT requirements here.

Now, I haven't completely lost my mind, but I must be pretty close! Actually, I've been thinking about doing this for a long time, and I finally realized that the "perfect" time to get on board is never going to come.

I know that with all that's going on in my life that I won't be able to complete "every" requirement "exactly" as it's prescribed on the list, but I'll be working closely with Coach Tom Callos to customize my test so that it is challenging and meaningful — and LIFE ALTERING!

This is a fantastic opportunity to accelerate my own personal growth and development through martial arts-based training. But beyond that, it's a wonderful way for me to lead by example and to inspire my students and others in my community to go beyond the limits that they have set for themselves.

My goals?

Through this test, I want to become the martial artist I've always wanted to be. That means making massive improvements in my techniques, forms, and stances, as well as increasing my flexibility, strength, and endurance. As Coach Tom says, being in the Ultimate Black Belt Test means becoming the ultimate student.

I also want to become more of the person I've always wanted to be. I want to grow my dojo in size and membership so that I'm able to meet and inspire and serve more people. I want to learn more about myself and my place in the world, and to make some positive contributions to it. I want to be more connected, more cognizant, and more compassionate. I hope this test will help with these things and more!

It will be interesting to see how I come out on the other side. Wish me luck! Please check back here often to see how I'm doing — and to keep me honest!